Thoughts on Stuff...

So we had a little holiday party last night equipped with a tree, lights, Mistle Toe, a plastic Santa, hot chicks, and, of course, booze. Although we did not have enough to last the night (who thought that two handles of rum, four bottles of Peppermint Schnaps, a bottle of Johnny Walker, and three fuckin' kegs would not last past 1am?), I was able to be amply drunk enough that I smoked about 20 cigarettes, which was great.

One of the staple drinks of the holiday season is egg nog, and of course we made a few batches and I indulged in more than one glass. I actually really enjoyed the egg nog; it wasn't too heavy and tasted great. I thought it could not have been better. That is, of course, until I had horrible diarrhea today. I don't know what it was about the egg nog (maybe it was the nutmeg) but it made me shit like I haven't shat since last Tuesday afternoon. Combined with French toast, one egg, coffee, and some bacon from the Pop Shoppe and let's just say I had a pretty rough go around this morning (like 2pm).

Anyway, my point is: be careful about how much egg nog you consume this holiday season. Although it tastes great at the time, trust me that the next day your asshole will feel the effects. And unless it is going to guaruntee you some ass, I would suggest staying away from the bow(e)l of egg nog.

Rooney: eat a dick.

Also: After watching "60 Minutes" tonight (a pretty good episode, by the way), I realized that I despise Andy Rooney almost as much as Carrot Top. What the hell is up with that guy? He just did a segment on what he gets in the mail (surprisingly not a boatload of gay porn magazines) and started playing the kazoo. I always thought he was a smug bastard, but thank God for Ali G exposing his douchebaggyness awhile ago. I don't even know why this guy has a job; does he offer any type of insight to anything, other than how to act like an annoying pussy? I don't think so. I hope he gets herpes from a toilet seat.