I Hate Thesis

Just a few rambles from a non-Jew as I try to find ways not to work on my thesis and fart in the library so it will smell, but no one will know that I did it...

• I hate the Library Gnome. Of all the people at Bates that annoy me--and take my word for it, there are plenty--he might just top the list. Between the beard, the hair, and the size, the man is truly one of a kind (well, actually, I might know someone of similar proportions...but now is not the time for digressions). Too bad he might be the craziest nerd that I have ever seen. Every time someone accidentally sets off the alarm thing, he runs after them like an old woman who just had her bag stolen, except that she has a giant stick up her ass. I know I'm not alone out here. To you, Gnome, I give the picture below. I hope it makes you cry on your nylon stockings.
  

• I can't stand it when people who spend every minute of their waking day in the library use it as their social gathering place. Look, I have no problem with people that only do work; it isn't my style, but who gives a fuck, right? As long as they don't bother me, we're all good. But when groups of these kids sit around tables and yuk it up like they actually got laid this past weekend seriously irritates me. Shut up, I'm trying to work.
  
• Everytime I step outside of my house and walk the streets of Lewiston during the winter season, I get nautious.
• My thesis is a hopeless project that will consume me for the next month, and I think I'd rather have the entire school known that I have hemroids than have to finish it.
  
• I wish I had done some blow this past weekend.
• I wish it was still the weekend.
• I wish I was not in this horrible Rock-Cut Temples in Southeast Who Gives a Flying Fuck Anyway class. Easily the biggest botch of my entire Bates career. If this professor could be tenured, I legitimately think that I could be a respectable person.
• I think that Lewiston is the most god-forsaken place in the entire country. I would never want to go somewhere worse.
• March Madness is going to be incredible--I can't wait.

That's it for me. Sorry for the incoherence, but that pretty much sums up my state of hungoveredness/burned-out highness/tiredness. Better pieces will come in the week, and you can look forward to a thrilling biopic of the Commons Creep by one of your Man Space scribes. Enjoy your Monday; I know I won't.