Bates Needs a Sense of Humor

Fucking hilarious

This past Monday, Danny Tanner was in the house. Yes, the legend himself (check out this site), Bob Saget, came to perform his comedy act at Bates College. What you have to realize is that at Bates, students are rarely treated to exciting on-campus events, as we garner—at most—one concert/big deal guest a semester. When they do grace the campus, it is a pretty big deal. I mean, when a shit-head like Gavin DeGraw performed, girls went nuts, and I think that 95% of the male population still doesn’t know who he is. So when the man who gained fame for his cleaning prowess, morning talk show capabilities on “Wake Up, San Francisco”, and corny-ass jokes on “America’s Funniest Home Videos”—basically a guy who I proudly watched for over an hour a day for like seven years—decided to come to Bates, I was happier than a pig in shit.

Like with the Borat Experience, I was pretty amped. I knew Saget was raunchy, his act a foil to his well-known TV sit-com personality as a ball-less sissy. Unfortunately, the campus was drier than a seventh-grade girl (my inner Saget), and I couldn’t be stoned off my ass like I was at Borat. But I was confident in Bob; he had never let me down before.

The act, in my opinion, was hilarious. Although it was obviously scripted, it hardly seemed that way. Bob sounded like a deranged drunk, rambling on whatever topic popped into his head at the particular moment, constantly cussing, playing to the audience, and always talking about the chicks he “banged”. It was the greatest performance in potty humor I have ever seen. He perfectly played off of his Danny Tanner character (“You don’t want to shit me. You don’t want Danny Tanner coming out of your asshole”), brought up great references to Dave Coulier and John Stamos (including the immortal bathroom exchange with Uncle Jessie in front of the 17 year-old), and capped the act off with the song “Danny Tanner is Not Gay”, a question I have pondered ever since I saw my first “Full House” re-run at 14. All in all, the show was a resounding success, and I was laughing about it three hours later as I watched a re-run of “Full House”.

Obviously, I knew Saget’s act would not go over well with every member of the audience, because not everyone has my adoration for inappropriate humor. So, when I heard some did not like his display, I really didn’t care; they probably have a terrible sense of humor. But what really pissed me off was when I walked into Ladd Library and read some of the abominations written on that stupid giant notepad in the front lobby where people can write whatever they want anonymously.

To summarize, people had made comments saying that Saget’s act—and Bates students acceptance of his jokes/humor—reflected poorly on Bates as a whole, and what a Bates student values. The idea was the fact the students as supposedly intellectual as those that attend Bates should not find the juvenile potty humor of Saget entertaining. What the fuck are these people talking about?

There are so many retarded contradictions and idiotic assumptions being made by these people, that I’m not necessarily sure where to start, but I’ll try. First of all, the notes on the board assumed that all Bates students have the same values, something I could not disagree with more. I like to think I have nothing in common with a kid who lives in a single in Adams and is double majoring. Why, just because we attend Bates, means that all students have to have the same value system, is beyond me. Furthermore, saying that enjoying Saget’s humor was a poor reflection of what Bates students value is foolish. There is little correlation between what a person “values” and finds funny; do you think all of Chris Rock’s fans (if they still exist) hate white people? I’m guessing no, though his act always rips into white people. There is also a presumption that enjoying Saget’s raunchy humor is somewhat wrong or juvenile. Why? I’m sure these are the same people that loved Borat’s act, which is based on similar childish humor. In one scene he hands a woman a bag full of his own shit. In another, he and his fat-ass partner are running around a hotel ass naked fighting. Neither of these scenes would be considered high-brow humor. So why the contradiction with Saget? I don’t fucking know.

All of this ridiculousness leads me to one conclusion: most Bates students need to get a sense of humor. Too many times, Bates students take themselves too seriously, and I think that this instance with Bob Saget is a perfect reflection of that. He came to this campus to make people laugh, and he did a good job. He did not come here to test our “value system” or whatever that is--I just value getting fucked up every weekend.

I think the bottom line is that I’m just a college student trying to enjoy my time in college before going into the real world. If Bob Saget performs at my school and makes me laugh, I’m going to laugh and not give a fuck whether or not it reflects poorly on Bates values, or some shit like that. We can all act mature and grow up later; acting serious and making an issue out of nothing can happen when we're older. I suggest that Bates kids need to relax, get a sense of humor, and get off their pedestal. No one is taking you seriously, and you may be missing a good time.