God Bless Us, Everyone!

Right now, I don't think that little bastard Tiny Tim could put it any better. Sitting here in my room back in Philadelphia, waiting to eat a late breakfast that is being prepared by the ever so nice Ma Dukes, I can't believe that the inevitable week of hell that is dreaded by college students worldwide, is actually over. Freedom, as San Fran put it, has finally arrived. No more 15 page papers, no more all nighters, no more "study supplements", no more cigarettes (well...), and last but not least, no more slez-infested, mullet-munching, tooth-lacking, stash-rocking, nascar-wearing, merciless-masturbating, crack-crazed Lewiston! Surviving a semester in Lewiston is about the hardest thing to do in college. I cross my lucky stars to have made it through another one. I am just happy to be home, doing nothing, sleeping late, eating great food, strolling the floors of my house naked, hoping that my neighbors dont see, but also not really caring because they are lesbians. Basically, I am just a happy camper. I wish the best to all you out there who are finishing up exams, papers, jobs, porn careers, drug deals, whatever. Just remember, work hard, push through it, and it will all be over as quick as the masturbator is porchside.

Best Wishes and Happy Holidays Er'body!