For Those Who Have Not Heard...

It seems that the saga involving the Bates masturbator has finally come to its sticky conclusion. This past Friday, 12/15, the supposed 'bator was apprehended by Bates security/Lewiston PD after being present at a Bates party and refusing to leave, claiming that he was "an undercover officer." Some of your Man Space scribes were present, but were unable to get a full on view of the man; no telling whether or not he was flaccid at the time of arrest. But we did arrive at said off-campus house as he was being subdued, so you could say that maybe he knew were coming, and decided to flee because he was a pussy. That's what we like to think, anyway.

It appears, then, that we will be without any masturbation incidents any longer at Bates this year, unless a new, power-stanced foe presents himself as a worthy adversary. Highly unlikely. While we're glad this guy has finally been captured--he is a sick fuck of the highest degree--we might somewhat miss the fact that he could be out there, J-ing at a Subway, or even a Quizno's. Scratch that: no way. Good riddance, pervert.

Also, I was scouring the Lewiston-Sun Journal for any type of print to confirm any of the above, and not surprisingly I didn't find anything. However, I did find this from about a month and a half ago. See if this sounds familiar:

The man exposed himself through a window in the Bates vicinity in the evening, and a few hours before that at the restaurant, Chick said. Subway employees saw the behavior and called police.

At Bates, students in a private residence near the college heard a banging noise on their window, according to an e-mail from Thomas Carey, director of Security and Campus Safety.

When the students went to see who was knocking on the window, they saw a naked, white man masturbating. The man covered his face during the act, then ran off. Authorities were called.

That is us! We're (in)famous? Maybe that is why so many townies come to our parties. Anyway, we hope this recent news helps you sleep well, and not worry that someone is at the side of your bed stroking it when you wake up.